Three Years

Yeah yeah yeah, I know, I’m WAY overdue on posting.  I won’t even attempt to make the many excuses.

Now, onto the good news.

Today, three years ago, I opened up a capsule and ended the trial of one Yar Telling.  She’s worn my collar proudly ever since.

There simply are not enough words in the English language to describe what Yar means to me.

She’s my Joy.  My girl.  My submissive.  My lover.  My confidant.  Most importantly, my friend.

If I were granted but one wish Yar, I’d wish for three more years with you.  I love you.  Happy Anniversary.

Damn! Look at those legs...

Advertisement

A Touch of Sadness

Its no secret that I continue to keep tabs on several aspects of my history in Second Life, even those that I no longer associate myself with or locations I no longer frequent.

Someone recently directed my attention to a recent post on the Stonehaven forum that Stonehaven was closing and moving to the OSGrid.  I think the person that directed my attention to this post expected me to let out a congratulatory whoop.  Quite the opposite indeed.  I am very saddened by this development.

Rather than dwell on the basis of my sadness though, I am going to spend the next few days going through my inventory and sorting reminders of the time my Family and I spent there.  I think I’ll lump it all into one handy folder titled “Memories”.

See, despite the falling out I had with certain members of Stonehaven and my disagreement over the *sanitization* of Stonehaven, one thing I cannot deny is the strong presence in my life of friendships forged and strengthened within that sim’s borders.  Even today, some of my closest friends are people I met and played with at Stonehaven, both new and old.

Personally, I wish the sim luck on the OSGrid.  The land prices there are astronomically low, and for a good reason.  It takes a lot of bravery to try and pioneer a remaking of what was once a great and glorious place.  It will also take a lot of work.  I for one am not a fan of the OSGrid, yet, but my Family and I have begun *exploring* alternatives to Second Life should one become necessary.  No, I’ll not say anything further on this topic as it is still very much in the exploratory stage.  Suffice to say, a lot of the logic Dirk spells out in his explanation for Stonehaven’s closure is very sound.  Not complete, but I’ll concede it is sound.

One souvenir I do not have is a photograph of the gazebo that used to sit above the deck at the newer Stonehaven castle.  If anyone has a picture of this within their inventory, I would greatly appreciate you forwarding it to me.  I have my personal reasons for wanting this.  Bonus points if myself, Yar Telling, or Diomita Maurer are in the photograph.  I’ll really be full of joy and good tidings if anyone has a photo of Felina Kitty leashed to the leashing wall at old Stonehaven, the one that sat in Littlefield.

Fare thee well Stonehaven.

Twice the Pleasure

The lock on the capsule beeped as it unlocked and the darkened glass door slid open.  The bound and gagged girl inside looked up, blinking at the sudden brightness, seeing a shadowy figure standing over her.

The girl is motioned out, so she slowly and steadily crawls on her knees out of the confining capsule.  Her restraints are systematically unlocked and she is helped to her feet.  The gag is then carefully removed from her mouth.  As she stretches her jaws and tries to speak, a thin collar is placed around her neck, and locked.  On the collar is engraved, “Yasmin’s Concubine”.

Thus, Yar was inducted into the Brat Pack.

Now, those of you close to us know this is no longer Yar’s title.  Those of you even closer know Yar’s collaring was anything BUT this simple.

The road to collaring Yar was bumpy indeed, perhaps to give me warning as to how bumpy our relationship would be, particularly that first year.  However, it is my experience that anything worth having is worth working for.

Since that time, Yar has grown extremely close to me.  She is my right hand.  An ironic term for those of you from my owned submissive past.  Truth is, Yasminia, Caer Heartsdale, my Second Life, all of these things exist in large part due to Yar’s persistence and dare I say it, loving stubbornness.

Simply put, my Family is a cherished artwork of mosiac pieced together firmly and nicely.  Yar is the grout that holds the artwork together.

I’ve often said, if anyone desires to know and understand submission, they need only follow Yar for a week.  That still holds true.

Yar, I am humbled to be your owner, honored to be your Goddess, and most of all, happy to be your friend.  I hope we have another two years together.

I love you.  Happy Two Year Anniversary!

Yar Update

Good news!

Our mission to help Yar experience the joy (joy?) of SL pregnancy has been a success.  According to the early pregnancy test given out by the Tantra HUD, Yar is expecting.

You may visit her in Yasminia and congratulate her as she will not be out and about like she used to be.  She’s resting, you know, for the baby’s sake.

We are now accepting submissions for baby names.

The father’s name is Armand.  Last name and address withheld at his request.

Knocked Up

Well, here we are, three weeks into January and so far my resolution is going strong.  Making sure that I restrain myself in my wanderings has led to me re-discovering some of my girls and reminding me why I fell in love with them in the first place.

Tonight’s blog is about Yar Telling.  Tomorrow marks twenty-one months since I collared this sweet girl.  Twenty-one months.  That equals about ten years RL-wise.  Yar has become my rock.  My support.  My assistant in SL.  She runs everything for me.  Does any chore I ask, without question.  To be sure, any one of my girls would, but all of them will admit, nobody does it quite like Yar.  I don’t think anyone sacrifices quite as much as Yar does.

So, naturally, I have taken Yar for granted.  Not intentionally mind you, but it is easy to do given her demureness and willingness to always please me.  *softly strokes Yar’s cheek*  God, she is a sweet girl.

So, while I resolved to stay more visible on my own island and eliminate some of my wanderlust, I also promised myself that I would be more hands on with each girl this year.  With Yar, perhaps that resolution has a little extra *oomph*.

Now, flash forward to earlier tonight.  In the past, when I dommed and played with girls Yar, if present, was more in a support role, looking out for minor players in the scene, giving me feedback, ideas, etc.  Now, she’s bent over an SZE desk on our deck in Yasminia, locked to said desk, totally restricted, she doesn’t even have names, with a Tantra Total Woman HUD locked into place.  For those not in the know, the Tantra allows an avatar to experience the joys (joys?) of motherhood with SL.  I’ll pause while that sinks in.

Naturally there are several factors that have to line up in order for an avatar to become “with child”, but for Yar, it was the experience and the “risk” of wearing that HUD and being unprotected in the position she was in that led to her wearing this device.  Thus began her climb into orbit toward that destination we call subspace.

Yar.  Nude.  Bent over.  Locked.  Helpless.  Exposed.  All of her limits pushed to the edge, her mind hovering in subspace.  She smiled at me, and stated she couldn’t imagine being any more on edge.

Really Yar?

Then the men began teleporting in.  After all, we can’t have *risk* of pregnancy without adequate *donors*, can we?  And I was quite flexible in who was invited.  Hell, I pretty much opened it to all comers.  (Yes, that pun was intentional.)

That was four hours ago.  Twenty one months have passed since the day I collared Yar.  I admit, I’ve taken her for granted.  But tonight showed me, while a few others expressed doubts, that I can still read Yar like an open book.  Joyfully, it showed Yar that as well.

As I unlocked her to take a break and yes, we’re FAR from done with this particular subspace ride, Yar commented to me that this may have been one of her best nights ever in SL.  *Insert heart melt*  Guess what Yar my sweet?  You just assuredly made it one of mine.  I love you girl.

Catching up…and branding

Let me apologize to my regular readers for not posting in a few days.  It is often said that RL is the cruelest Mistress of all and believe me, do not take that saying for granted.  She is an extremely demanding and fickle Miss.

Its that time of year when the school age tykes we love and adore get granted a reprieve from the correctional institutions they attend by day, i.e., Spring Break.  So, even while on SL, I have been busy making plans for where my RL family is headed that week. 

Additionally, as some of you know, I have two close relatives feeling quite ill.  One was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, stage four.  I just want to say thank you to those that have expressed kind words and thoughts.

Now, onto SL items.  Some of you may have seen new marks on some of my Family as of late.  Yar recently completed a brand for me to apply to my girls.  You may note this new mark on some of their thighs, or if you get really lucky, their sexy backsides.  The brand is also our new corporate logo, a Y with the lines of a key on the bottom leg.  The design itself was created by my lovely bride, Tey.  As a side note, at what point does the relationship cool enough that one can stop referring to their partner as their bride?  Never, I hope!

Now, of course, branding is a permanent modification to one’s body, so its not for everyone.  Allow me to thank those of my Family members that were brave enough and devoted enough to accept my brand, or are accepting it in the near future.  I’m very proud of you.

Of course, there are some of my Family members that elected not to to be branded due to a limit for body modification.  To you I say I am even more proud.  A branding violates one of your fundamental limits, and you were brave enough to tell me such, and refuse the brand.  It is often said that a sub cannot develop if she cannot trust her Domme.  I say the inverse is also true.

To all of my Family, brand or not, I love you all and at the end of the day, it matters not to me so much what is branded on your skin as what is etched on your heart.

See you in-world!  *kiss*

Yar

Yasmin’s Joy.  And what a joy this sweet girl has turned out to be.

I could write fifty entries regarding Yar and how she came to be a Brat, and still I fear the tale would be incomplete.  Yar and I have had a long and convoluted relationship.

Of all my Brats, Yar spent the longest time in her trial phase.  There is a story in and of itself in that regard, but lets just say Yar attempted to thwart my trial process by utilizing an alt, and got caught.  Mercy is a powerful tool, and I forgave Yar for her “escape”, and have not regretted it one bit.  Yar is the energy that keeps our Family going.  If you ever want to truly see what submission entails, follow Yar for a week.

Yar has made some bad choices in her SL experience, but she has paid the price and owned up to her mistakes, as well as acknowledged not only who she is in SL, but is open about the person in RL that drives her to be here.

But lets not turn this post into a summary of Yar’s oversights.  She has used her time here, as well as our relationship, to accomplish some positive things.  First and foremost, Yar used SL, and my ownership of her, to kick an RL smoking habit.  For anyone that has ever suffered an addiction (would SL itself qualify) you can appreciate how hard it must have been for Yar, sitting in RL at a computer desk, alone, perhaps bored, staring at that pack of cigarettes, and not picking one up.

Yar has also used SL to gain some deep loving friendships, that will hopefully last a lifetime.  For those of you keeping up with Yar and/or Rayn’s blogs, you know that Yar fell for and married one of the Family’s GrandBrats, Rayn Halfpint.  If you’ve read this forum in its proper order, you also know that Rayn, for personal reasons, left SL.  Despite that, Yar and Rayn continue to stay in touch via their own blogs, as well as email and MSN.

Rayn has said, and I agree, that SL in and of itself can be addictive.  Luckily, the love and friendship that is developed in SL is even more overpowering.

I’ve had several people tell me that I am the best thing to ever happen to Yar.  I disagree.  Rayn is the best thing to ever happen to Yar “and I”.  I firmly believe that it was her marriage to Rayn that helped Yar to calm down, thereby allowing me to convince Yar that living in SL via alts was not the healthiest choice to make.

Someone very close to me recently pointed out that in RL we live several roles, not always truthful roles, pretend to be people we are not or worse, pretend to be people that others need us to be while in SL, despite what or who we are in RL, we play the roles that we are meant to play.  The roles we truly are.

I used to think that SL was escapism, a place to live out a fantasy.  With Yar, SL has become a place where I am free to be who I truly am.  Even moreso, I feel Yar is truly who she is in SL.  It no longer feels like an escape, or mere fantasy.  Those of you that know her well can appreciate some humor in this realization.  Most likely you chuckle because deep down, you agree.  Yar has a way of turning around the lives of those she meets.

I cannot think of a more honest and open person in my SL experience than Yar.  As with all my Brats, there will be many more entries detailing a few pieces of a time about the past, but for now, as I write this entry, at 2:00 in the morning, I try to think of something that will help me have pleasant dreams, something joyful.  I think of Yar.  My Joy.

I love you Yar.

Love is a Battlefield

I had intended to bring this blog up to date in one straight continuous tale, but there are events occuring in my SL experience right now that seem to demand chronicling.  So, this blog will now take on the attitude of The X-Files.  Storyline, storyline, storyline, stand alone, storyline, storyline, you get the picture.  I’ll try to keep the Cancer Man at bay.

While I am sure there will be many posts on her later, I want to briefly discuss one of my Brats, Yar.  I collared Yar on 4/23/08.  Since that time, we have taken many twists and turns in our relationship.  To be honest, we took many twists and turns in Yar’s trial alone, much less since then. 

To date, Yar has constantly proven herself to me again and again.  I often tell people that if they want to know the path of submission, they merely need to follow Yar.  Truth is, I doubt but a handful could keep up on that path.  And yes, I already own that handful.

During the trial process, and of course following her collaring, Yar developed a close relationship with one of my GrandBrats, Rayn.  Rayn, to say the least, is the consummate brat.  I have never seen anyone work so hard at getting herself into trouble.

Last July, a week before my own SL wedding to Teyonas, Yar and Rayn were married.  Rarely do I see two people in SL so deserving of one another.

Yesterday, I log on to discover that Rayn has made the decision to leave SL.  Naturally, Yar is crushed.  I won’t delve into the method or reasons behind Rayn’s decision, but suffice to say I was pretty irate.  Mostly out of defense mode for Yar and wanting to exorcise my frustration at her being hurt.

In the 24 hours since, I have cooled off considerably.  The main reason for Rayn’s decision seems to stem from pressure within her own RL.  I cannot be angry at her for this, as I have been there myself, and, as the last post clearly states, have been in love with someone feeling similar pressure.

All I can do now is pray Rayn’s future allows her the time and energy to reconnect with Yar on some level, and at least preserve the friendship that lies beneath their love.  I also pray that Yar is able to move forward from this.  Of course, given her support structure, I am confident she will do so.

Remember the mantra I taught you Yar, “Nobody Knows.”

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands….

Love is a battlefield.  Nobody knows this better than the wounded.