Defining Limits

Okay, there was a tiff in Yasminia yesterday while I was not online and I’m a little at odds as to how to best address it so I thought I’d run the scenario by you readers and invite any feedback.

Keep in mind this is my understanding of the tiff as relayed to me by two of the people involved, as well as a witness that showed up part way through and got details from all three parties involved.

I recently branded one of my Brats, Alexx.  After being branded, Alexx had requested I lock her up for a decent amount of time so she could relish the branding.  For those familiar with Yasminia, there is an island in the SE corner that holds a giant anchor with a leash point and a campfire.  I leashed Alexx there.

As hoped for and expected, Alexx entertained many visitors during her time there, as she is a fairly popular member of my Family.  One of the visitors has some *history* with Alexx stemming from light hearted banter and teasing.  This visitor is a male and for the sake of this story, we’ll call him Joe.

Joe happened upon Alexx in her restrained and helpless state and given their *history*, began to torment her.  Nothing out of line as I understand it and nothing unwelcomed by Alexx.

While this torment was already in progress, a female friend of Alexx happened upon the scene.  Again to protect the combatants, we’ll call this female visitor Missy.  Seeing Alexx trying to escape Joe’s torment, Missy apparently emoted picking up a log from the campfire and sticking it into Joe’s genitals, or striking him in the balls, I’m a bit fuzzy on this issue, but it seems apparent that contact was initiated by Missy with respect to Joe’s dick.

For sake of comprehension, Missy’s profile contains the following limits;

No AgePlay, or Bodily Wastes, No RL introduction into RP, no Gor, prefer no death. Prefer Woman, shemales, herms. no Men.

Personally I’ve always felt listing “No Men” was a bit too vague. No men doing what? Fucking you? Talking to you? Buying you shoes? Building the sims you play in? But anyhoo, those are Missy’s limits.

For further clarification, Joe’s profile lists the following limits;

Intolerance, racism, stupidity, drama, griefing, harrassment. Good luck avoiding any of those items in Second Life.

Now what apparently sparked the tiff was after Missy interjected herself into the roleplay and stuck a burning log onto Joe’s dick, he apparently replied by using a remote to grab Missy’s relay. At that time Missy safeworded out and began an OOC discussion, the details of which are still lost to me at this point. Mind you, Joe grabbed her relay, nothing more. At no time was Missy stripped, restrained or placed into a sexual scenario.

I guess my opinion is that if one has a limit against men, then one shouldn’t initiate interaction with men, especially while wearing a live relay. Both combatants have sworn not to enter my sim again, Missy out of fear that we harbor men that don’t respect limits and Joe out of fear that we will harbor women that interfere with ongoing roleplay. Okay, we all agree that Joe is a smartass. What man minds when a woman jumps into an ongoing scene? Well, so long as burning logs aren’t placed against their genitalia.

I’m just a bit at a loss as Missy in this case went ahead and unfriended me prior to me coming back online to even find out about this incident, much less talk to her about it. To me, it seems common sense. If men are your limit, don’t do anything that resembles play with men.

Is there some change in the air where this type of interaction with an expectation of no response from the man is commonplace? Just curious as to others’ thoughts. Comment if you have an opinion.

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