Defining Limits

Okay, there was a tiff in Yasminia yesterday while I was not online and I’m a little at odds as to how to best address it so I thought I’d run the scenario by you readers and invite any feedback.

Keep in mind this is my understanding of the tiff as relayed to me by two of the people involved, as well as a witness that showed up part way through and got details from all three parties involved.

I recently branded one of my Brats, Alexx.  After being branded, Alexx had requested I lock her up for a decent amount of time so she could relish the branding.  For those familiar with Yasminia, there is an island in the SE corner that holds a giant anchor with a leash point and a campfire.  I leashed Alexx there.

As hoped for and expected, Alexx entertained many visitors during her time there, as she is a fairly popular member of my Family.  One of the visitors has some *history* with Alexx stemming from light hearted banter and teasing.  This visitor is a male and for the sake of this story, we’ll call him Joe.

Joe happened upon Alexx in her restrained and helpless state and given their *history*, began to torment her.  Nothing out of line as I understand it and nothing unwelcomed by Alexx.

While this torment was already in progress, a female friend of Alexx happened upon the scene.  Again to protect the combatants, we’ll call this female visitor Missy.  Seeing Alexx trying to escape Joe’s torment, Missy apparently emoted picking up a log from the campfire and sticking it into Joe’s genitals, or striking him in the balls, I’m a bit fuzzy on this issue, but it seems apparent that contact was initiated by Missy with respect to Joe’s dick.

For sake of comprehension, Missy’s profile contains the following limits;

No AgePlay, or Bodily Wastes, No RL introduction into RP, no Gor, prefer no death. Prefer Woman, shemales, herms. no Men.

Personally I’ve always felt listing “No Men” was a bit too vague. No men doing what? Fucking you? Talking to you? Buying you shoes? Building the sims you play in? But anyhoo, those are Missy’s limits.

For further clarification, Joe’s profile lists the following limits;

Intolerance, racism, stupidity, drama, griefing, harrassment. Good luck avoiding any of those items in Second Life.

Now what apparently sparked the tiff was after Missy interjected herself into the roleplay and stuck a burning log onto Joe’s dick, he apparently replied by using a remote to grab Missy’s relay. At that time Missy safeworded out and began an OOC discussion, the details of which are still lost to me at this point. Mind you, Joe grabbed her relay, nothing more. At no time was Missy stripped, restrained or placed into a sexual scenario.

I guess my opinion is that if one has a limit against men, then one shouldn’t initiate interaction with men, especially while wearing a live relay. Both combatants have sworn not to enter my sim again, Missy out of fear that we harbor men that don’t respect limits and Joe out of fear that we will harbor women that interfere with ongoing roleplay. Okay, we all agree that Joe is a smartass. What man minds when a woman jumps into an ongoing scene? Well, so long as burning logs aren’t placed against their genitalia.

I’m just a bit at a loss as Missy in this case went ahead and unfriended me prior to me coming back online to even find out about this incident, much less talk to her about it. To me, it seems common sense. If men are your limit, don’t do anything that resembles play with men.

Is there some change in the air where this type of interaction with an expectation of no response from the man is commonplace? Just curious as to others’ thoughts. Comment if you have an opinion.

14 Responses to “Defining Limits”

  1. That witness must have been a good looking girl 😉

  2. Yasmin Heartsdale Says:

    She was smoking hot!

  3. But i didnt witness it…..

  4. She was smoking hot…but then again, so were “Joe’s” genitals.

    And, IMO, the “play” in role play means that you have determined to actively engage another for the purposes of mutual entertainment. If that is not the case or intent, why bother?

  5. diomitamaurer Says:

    Who of you all is so perfect that you’ve read all profiles before you begin to interact? I’m not. In my opinion we have IM to communicate outside roleplays. And if you violate limits, keep it cool, apologize and that’s it.
    Enjoy, relax, keep Yasminia a dramafree zone.
    I need to check burning logs as a weapon.
    Love from Dio

  6. You can’t possibly emote something with someone then run and hide when they emote back.

    You have a limit against males, don’t play with males.

    What was Joe meant to do, just nod and smile and say thank you for setting my balls on fire, jee that was funny.

  7. Bear in mind my opinion is based on who would be deemed at fault if this sort of thing happened in a RL dungeon.

    The crux of the matter (leaving aside the actual action) is that Missy interjected herself in to a scene in progress. It’s not clear if her participation was invited by Joe. I’m guessing it wasn’t. In a RL dungeon, Missy would have been ejected by the dungeon staff (at least any dungeon I’ve been staff for).

    Further to that, fair’s fair. If Missy doesn’t want to play with men, that’s fine. By the same token if Missy initiates something with a man, she can have no complaint if there’s a response.

    Joe was wrong to retaliate in a play manner; to wit grabbing Missy’s relay. That was a bad reaction, he should have OOC’d that her actions were not welcome.

    Shuggi the opinionated 😛

  8. You all miss the point!

    The witness was hot!!! C’mon, how can you stray from that matter?

  9. Sighs I keep telling you sis I wasnt there so i couldnt have witnessed it.

  10. Anna (OSHI-) Says:

    Oh c’mon, you should know the rules of Yasminia, Missy. If you stick your finger in the cookie jar, the cookie jar will stick its finger in YOU!

    And pshaaa, of COURSE the witness was hot! Even I could see that, and I haven’t been around in about four months!

    People need to be nice to our poor boys at Yasminia. They’re already surrounded by crazy bisexual and lesbian troublemaking brats and unless they eat razor-studded nails for breakfast (with no milk) they’ll usually wind up in a gimp suit being suspended over the deck being spun around like a mobile.

    Then again Santana could use some company up there.

    • Yasmin Heartsdale Says:

      Anna! Come home! We miss you!!!!

      • Annabonanza Says:

        YAAAAH hold yer horses Goddess, my uber brattyness needs its lengthy hiatus or else I’ll start going SOFT. And LIMP. Like ALEXX’S PENIS.

        MUAHAHAHA oh wait shouldn’t have said that I still owe her UM UM UM, I MEAN… YOUR PENIS IS WONDERFUL MY DEAR NO DISRESPECT.

  11. Moral of the story. If you play with fire(wood) you are likely to get burned.

    1) If you cross your limit line knowingly and willingly its not a limit, stated or not.

    2) If you leave your relay open and inject yourself into an ongoing RP (invited or not) its fair game within your limits. (see #1 )
    (I might feel deferent had Joe atempted contact beyond restraint that he knew or should know was out of bounds by her limits But defencive adtion is )

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