A word from Valerie

As my blog is open to all of my Family to express their opinion, Valerie has asked for me to publish the following.  I think, to summarize, what Valerie is saying is for those people that come to Yasminia solely for the chance to play with me and find me already engaged with another person, please remember that any of my Brats are open to play and can usually hold their own in a Domme role.

I once swore I’d never write a blog of any sorts, and here I am, doing it anyway.  Not by request of Goddess or others, but because there is something that occured to me lately and I’d like to take a moment to sit and dwell on it.

Today I want to talk about the behavior of certain people over the last few months without calling any names.  To whom it may concern, you know who you are.

As most of you are aware, during the last few weeks Goddess has been absent a lot from the sim or SL in general due to personal issues.  Now she is back better than ever and spends a lot of time on Yasminia again, which has lead me to a somewhat worrying observation.  While our sim lay waste and barren for the last few months, all of a sudden people who haven’t shown up in some time come by again.  And you may have guessed it: the timeframe they did not come to our sim or came and left instantly again is almost coherent with Goddess’ absence.  Coincidence?  Maybe, though I doubt it.

It rather is part of a disturbing behavior I have witnessed around Goddess ever since I joined her in SL.  People come on to see if she is available, and when she is not, leave again, some even just log off again.  This may seem flattering on the first glance, but it is anything but that.  True, it speaks for Goddess’ qualities to captivate people, but those people either do not realize what a strain it can put on her, or anyone confronted with that type of behavior, or they do it deliberately on purpose.  It seems to imply “Either I get time with you or I won’t log on at all.”  Now, those of you who know Goddess know that the fun of others is one of her main concern.  And I find it not only highly anti-social of those individuals to behave like that but it downright borders on blackmail.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  It’s perfectly normal to want to spend time with her more than with others.  But some people seem to forget she has a family and other obligations as well.  They seem to think Goddess’ SL has to center around them as much as their’s centers around her.  And they try to enforce this by following her around and trying to make her feel bad by the aforementioned behavior when she can’t devote time to them.  Such a fixation is unhealthy for both sides, I’ve been there myself.  Why not instead try to get to know those around her better?  Like, maybe, her family?  The Brat Pack? Doesn’t ring a bell to some of you?  It’s that bunch of sexy girls on the sim that wear a “Yasmin’s” tag above their heads.  Sure, we might not be Goddess herself, but we sure are fun to hang with anyway and most of us can hold our own in a conversation or play.  It saddens me that some people simply ignore the rest of the family, like we are not considered worthy of interaction without Goddess around.  Or worse, even when she is around.  Frankly, I don’t hold much regard for those people.  When Goddess is in the sim they lurk around, waiting for a chance to steal some of her time, but when she is not, they don’t even drop by to say hello to her family.  Rude, impolite and anti-social.

Before this turns into one of my usual rants though, I’d rather like to ask those people to reconsider their approach and behavior.  If anything SL gives us is most fun of all, it’s meeting new people, getting to know them and realizing what wonderful persons they are.  So, maybe next time you come to the sim and see Goddess is not around, don’t just leave, approach others who are there, say hello, introduce yourself, see if you find other nice company there.  If you really want to be considered her friend, you better take your time to get to know her family as well.  You would not only make it easier on Goddess to spend time with you without it feeling forced, you may also find that she chose her girls wisely and her family is as much fun to be around as she is even when she is not there.

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Update from Slave

When I was first asked to write a new piece for the blog, I was a little worried, because it’s really hard to describe where I am now and what I do.  Especially compared to other things.  Some of you may or may not know that I have more experience in SL and SL BDSM than my age suggests.  Things happened in the past that have made me a little more… at ease with the more extreme things.

However a comparison is worthless without a baseline, and spilling my sad little sob story here will not make my present state easier to understand.

Perhaps it’s easier to just describe what I do and where I am most of the time.

What I do is perhaps the easiest to tell, but the hardest to do.  My job is making Goddess happy.  Which is far easier said then done.  As most of you will know too.

Where I am is how I make her happy for the most part.  My position is actually in two places, one is SubSpace, where my mind is most of the time.  Seriously, I drool as soon as I log on.

The other is my place in SL, and it is, as some will know, kinda secure.  In the way that Alcatraz was a minimum security prison.

Making it two parts:  Body and Prison we have the following.

Prison is a padded cage, standing in a isolated part of Goddess’ skybox, away from everyone and everything.  Inside this is either an iron maiden or a packing tube.  Both have no view, inside or out.

Body is a little harder still.  Starting with RR cuffs in type 6 and both block and mouselook.  I’m stuck inside a maiden with no view at the moment.  I’m wearing an MD harness with no hearing, speaking or sight.  I’m blindfolded.  As well as a second RR blindfold over that.  Two blindfolds.  Additionally is an Amethyst collar that blocks emote’s and floating text.

Effectively, I’m mute, can’t even send … or see my own emotes or emotes of others.  Everything that can be blocked is blocked.  Sight, hearing, speech, IM, inventory, etc… this is nice, but what makes it hard is that everything has been gone since November.

I’ve been allowed to see every few weeks for about 5 minutes, the rest of the time it’s utter blackness.  I get to IM with Goddess every other day for about 5 minutes too.  When she wants it, that’s it.  No other communication of any sort.

As to why I do this?  Well honestly, why not?  Goddess loves being in complete control and I like her control very very much.  It’s hard, but also very rewarding, you start to appreciate the little things a lot more.  Such as a bit of sunlight or being able to say “I love you.”

You might wonder why I keep doing this for so long, the answer really is simple.  Because I don’t have to explain things to Goddess, besides she doesn’t listen anyway.  She does whatever she wants anyway.  It’s the greatest feeling that whatever you want, doesn’t really matter anymore.  It’s really hard at times, but Goddess and I both understand that.  And at times we talk about it for hours.  It helps.  But we both know that this won’t end.  We both have to accept it.  It took me a long time to accept that I don’t have a opinion anymore.

Yet, there is one thing that keeps me going more then anything.  Last week, I had a little bit of a low spot, it kinda came crashing down that I wasn’t going anywhere.  And as we were talking, we both realized that there wasn’t something we were missing, or doing wrong, it was rather, that we both realized that this is an ongoing process.  Over time, Goddess will just add more layers.  Additional cages, more locks and restraints.  Over time, it will take longer and longer for her to get to me.  And it will make me so locked up, so far away, that even if I wanted out, it would take so long to open all the locks, that by the time she has able to touch my cheek, I would be so happy that she was close again, every worry would have been washed away.

It really is a great honor to be her Muse, and I will endure for that reason alone.  Through whatever she does to me, wherever she locks me up, however helpless I’ll become, I will endure.  Because I love her, with all my heart.

Slave

A year already?

I can’t believe it, this blog is a year old already.  Well, a year and two days.

Thank you to all who have visited.  I hope I’ve made at least a few of the entries entertaining.  I know I got off track telling my tale completely, but hopefully we’ll get back on track before the end of the second year.

For those that may be curious, in the past year there have been 10,426 visits to this site.  November 7, 2009 was the busiest day yet with 189 visits.

Your support is of course reflected in your comments, here and in-world.  Feel free to drop me an IM in-world when you read something that brightens your day, or just makes you think.

Love,

Yas

With Friends Like These….

You’ll excuse me if I take a time out from our originally scheduled programming to touch on a recent issue.

I recently was contacted by a girl to chat about some of my interests as we shared several groups, a few of them groups I actually owned and maintained.  During the course of our discussion, she requested adding me to her list of friends.  Being the friendly outgoing soul that I am, I agreed.

Keep in mind I was paying little to no heed to her rez date, or reading her profile, etc.  At this point we were merely chatting and I saw little reason to dive into the aspects of her existence in SL, etc.

For those that preach you should always read the profiles of anyone you meet or play with or buy from, yada yada yada, put a sock in it.  I try to live my SL as I do my RL and judge people for how they represent themselves in interaction with me.  I agree the profile is useful, and should be read, at the appropriate time.  That doesn’t include every short ten minute chat I have with every person I meet.

Now, and this may come as a shock to my loyal readers, it turned out I had a prior commitment or was already about to engage in some play, so friendship was exchanged and a verbal promise was made to get together later at a more convenient time.

This was roughly five, maybe seven days ago.

Yesterday, I log on, and am catching up on notecards, IMs, what have you….and because I use the emerald viewer, I get a pop up, so and so has “dissolved their friendship with you” or whatever the exact language for that annoying box is.

Here’s the funny part, because you know I made an inquiry.  Yasmin is no wallflower when it comes to posing the question, “WTF?”  The reply?  “It was apparent to me that we were not going to progress with a friendly relationship in the matter of which I would have liked.”  Five to seven days later?  That was apparent?  Oh, and this is the time I decided to review her profile.  She’s fifteen days old.  *insert another WTF?*

To add to this story, I admit I had not yet gotten my schedule in order enough to try and contact her to continue our discussion, but neither had I received any contact from her.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I predict a SHARP learning curve in this girl’s future.

So, I muted her.  And yes, took the extreme pleasure in booting her silly ass from the groups I did maintain since she had not taken the time to see to that little step.  No sense being in my group if its apparent that we were not going to progress with a friendly relationship in the matter of which she would have liked.

Perhaps I’m over reacting, but for some reason this just didn’t sit right with me.  I will admit, my resolution made me feel much more cheerful.  Therefore, I think this will become my standard response to those that drop me from their friends list in this manner.  An argument or fight or break up/falling out is one thing, but this just seems so trivial that it makes me wonder why she bothered.

My friends list currently hovers around five or six hundred people.  Yes, I’m outgoing.  Yes, I’m more or less a friendly person.  Yes, I adore every friend I make, and I do try to talk to people when I can.  Other people fascinate me.  Yes, I also have trouble sometimes saying no, or being rude, so I try to reply to every IM SL allows me to see, i.e., the system doesn’t eat.

But, unless you live under a rock in SL, you may have noticed I am predominantly Domme.  So I can, and pretty do, stay rather busy.  If that offends or bothers you, I truly am sorry.  Feel free to take your chances on dissolving our friendship.

To be honest, I don’t need a friends list to tell me who my true friends are.

Knocked Up

Well, here we are, three weeks into January and so far my resolution is going strong.  Making sure that I restrain myself in my wanderings has led to me re-discovering some of my girls and reminding me why I fell in love with them in the first place.

Tonight’s blog is about Yar Telling.  Tomorrow marks twenty-one months since I collared this sweet girl.  Twenty-one months.  That equals about ten years RL-wise.  Yar has become my rock.  My support.  My assistant in SL.  She runs everything for me.  Does any chore I ask, without question.  To be sure, any one of my girls would, but all of them will admit, nobody does it quite like Yar.  I don’t think anyone sacrifices quite as much as Yar does.

So, naturally, I have taken Yar for granted.  Not intentionally mind you, but it is easy to do given her demureness and willingness to always please me.  *softly strokes Yar’s cheek*  God, she is a sweet girl.

So, while I resolved to stay more visible on my own island and eliminate some of my wanderlust, I also promised myself that I would be more hands on with each girl this year.  With Yar, perhaps that resolution has a little extra *oomph*.

Now, flash forward to earlier tonight.  In the past, when I dommed and played with girls Yar, if present, was more in a support role, looking out for minor players in the scene, giving me feedback, ideas, etc.  Now, she’s bent over an SZE desk on our deck in Yasminia, locked to said desk, totally restricted, she doesn’t even have names, with a Tantra Total Woman HUD locked into place.  For those not in the know, the Tantra allows an avatar to experience the joys (joys?) of motherhood with SL.  I’ll pause while that sinks in.

Naturally there are several factors that have to line up in order for an avatar to become “with child”, but for Yar, it was the experience and the “risk” of wearing that HUD and being unprotected in the position she was in that led to her wearing this device.  Thus began her climb into orbit toward that destination we call subspace.

Yar.  Nude.  Bent over.  Locked.  Helpless.  Exposed.  All of her limits pushed to the edge, her mind hovering in subspace.  She smiled at me, and stated she couldn’t imagine being any more on edge.

Really Yar?

Then the men began teleporting in.  After all, we can’t have *risk* of pregnancy without adequate *donors*, can we?  And I was quite flexible in who was invited.  Hell, I pretty much opened it to all comers.  (Yes, that pun was intentional.)

That was four hours ago.  Twenty one months have passed since the day I collared Yar.  I admit, I’ve taken her for granted.  But tonight showed me, while a few others expressed doubts, that I can still read Yar like an open book.  Joyfully, it showed Yar that as well.

As I unlocked her to take a break and yes, we’re FAR from done with this particular subspace ride, Yar commented to me that this may have been one of her best nights ever in SL.  *Insert heart melt*  Guess what Yar my sweet?  You just assuredly made it one of mine.  I love you girl.

All is quiet on New Year’s Day

I can’t believe its 2010.  I can’t believe this blog is twenty days shy of a year old.  Most importantly, I cannot believe I am in my third year in SL.

Today’s post is a short one pertaining to a New Year’s custom.  Resolutions.  Feel that?  A shiver ran thru the blog at the mere mention of the word.  An anonymous quote states that a New Year’s resolution is something that “goes in one year and out the other.”

I’m sure many of us made one of the time honored resolutions to lose weight, find a better job, find a better relationship, etc.  This year, I chose to direct my resolution toward SL.

The last couple of months in 2009 I had developed a habit of exploring on my own, both SL and my own submissive side.  As a result, there were times when I, rather inadvertently or not, neglected some of my Family.  I was offline most of the week of Christmas and leading up to the New Year, so on Christmas Day, I decided that upon my full return to SL, I would put my resolution into play.

So, my 2010 resolution is this; When online, I shall endeavor to spend a strong majority, if not all, of my time in my home sim of Yasminia, or the sim Estate Obscure.  The exception of course is shopping.  Hey, a girl has to shop, right?

You’ll notice that Outskirts has been removed from this very very short list.  Sadly, the owner, Plato, recently informed me that due to some RL changes he would be forced to sell Outskirts in the near future.  Quite frankly, I cannot envision Outskirts without Plato.  Hopefully this will change.  I still intend to make occasional visits as there are a lot of sweet people associated with that sim.  Whatever occurs, I wish my friend Plato the best.

I still have not blogged much about Estate Obscure, but from my wanderings there it is a beautiful sim that one simply must see for one’s self.  I do intend to play the golf course in the near future, so stay tuned on my review of it.  Yes, I am not making that part up.  A BDSM sim, WITH GOLF!  BDSM can be frustrating enough, but adding golf?  What level of sadist is in charge over there?

I’m anxious to see how far this resolution takes me.  So far, this past week has been rather refreshing.  I’d forgotten the level of joy that could be had from merely sitting in a circle with a large portion of my girls, just simply chatting and flirting.  I might add that it has also strengthened my Domme side.  I feel an aggressiveness returning that I’ve not felt in some time.

Another issue adding to this may be the malaise I have felt of late with exploring SL.  Perhaps I am just getting older, hopefully a tad wiser, but it just seems of late that my desire to see new sims has fizzled.

That’s all I have for now.  I hope everyone had a pleasant New Year and your resolve turns out to be as strong as my own.

On a side note, do stay tuned as I have at least two people currently authoring guest blogs.  Hopefully those will be posted in the near future for your entertainment and thoughts.

As always, stay safe!  Love, Yas