Archive for January, 2009

Love is a Battlefield

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 30, 2009 by Yasmin Heartsdale

I had intended to bring this blog up to date in one straight continuous tale, but there are events occuring in my SL experience right now that seem to demand chronicling.  So, this blog will now take on the attitude of The X-Files.  Storyline, storyline, storyline, stand alone, storyline, storyline, you get the picture.  I’ll try to keep the Cancer Man at bay.

While I am sure there will be many posts on her later, I want to briefly discuss one of my Brats, Yar.  I collared Yar on 4/23/08.  Since that time, we have taken many twists and turns in our relationship.  To be honest, we took many twists and turns in Yar’s trial alone, much less since then. 

To date, Yar has constantly proven herself to me again and again.  I often tell people that if they want to know the path of submission, they merely need to follow Yar.  Truth is, I doubt but a handful could keep up on that path.  And yes, I already own that handful.

During the trial process, and of course following her collaring, Yar developed a close relationship with one of my GrandBrats, Rayn.  Rayn, to say the least, is the consummate brat.  I have never seen anyone work so hard at getting herself into trouble.

Last July, a week before my own SL wedding to Teyonas, Yar and Rayn were married.  Rarely do I see two people in SL so deserving of one another.

Yesterday, I log on to discover that Rayn has made the decision to leave SL.  Naturally, Yar is crushed.  I won’t delve into the method or reasons behind Rayn’s decision, but suffice to say I was pretty irate.  Mostly out of defense mode for Yar and wanting to exorcise my frustration at her being hurt.

In the 24 hours since, I have cooled off considerably.  The main reason for Rayn’s decision seems to stem from pressure within her own RL.  I cannot be angry at her for this, as I have been there myself, and, as the last post clearly states, have been in love with someone feeling similar pressure.

All I can do now is pray Rayn’s future allows her the time and energy to reconnect with Yar on some level, and at least preserve the friendship that lies beneath their love.  I also pray that Yar is able to move forward from this.  Of course, given her support structure, I am confident she will do so.

Remember the mantra I taught you Yar, “Nobody Knows.”

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands….

Love is a battlefield.  Nobody knows this better than the wounded.

Finding Harmony on the Fringe of Lunacy

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 30, 2009 by Yasmin Heartsdale

My first month of SL was perhaps the fastest ride I’ve been on since joining SL, as I suspect it is with many residents.  There’s the rush to gobble up as much information on how to survive and co-exist in SL as well as the simple hunger for exploration.

As Merl was also fairly newer to SL, just a month older than myself, we did a lot of the exploration together.  Being Neko, Merl was naturally inquisitive, so the exploration took us to a lot of unexpected delights.  As we both were, and still are, quite kinky, there were also some *expected* delights.

During this period, Merl also introduced me to a handful of, shall we say, like minded individuals.  Most of these people came and went, being fairly new to SL themselves and wanting to also explore their own boundaries.  Two of these individuals stand out quite clearly and need mentioning.

The first is Octavius, or Oct as she is called.  Oct may very well be the sexiest Neko I have met in SL, bar none.  Certainly nobody can emote or roleplay a better kiss.  By the time Oct’s lips touch your’s, you’ve already lost your soul to her.

Aside from her raw sex appeal, Oct is just downright likeable.  If SL were a high school, Oct would be voted “Most Friendly”.  I honestly cannot remember Oct ever saying a bad word against a soul, living or otherwise, much less a fellow resident.

The second person that warrants mentioning, naturally, was my first partner in SL, Edi Lunasea aka the Queen of Bad Puns.  Its only appropriate that Edi’s last name sounds like lunacy.  She may very well have the craziest sense of humor and roleplay style that I have ever seen in this type of medium.

I swore early on I would not take an SL partner, to avoid limiting myself in my personal “exploration” of some of the things SL had to offer.  Being one of the single most polyamorous women in SL, this was a ridiculous notion.

Part of me wonders if Merl introduced me to Edi to test my resolve.  Regardless of any intent, within minutes of meeting “the Queen”, I was hooked.  After what I can only describe as a torrid love affair, Edi and I partnered.

Now during this time, the four of us, Merl, Edi, Oct and myself, frequented a sim that was Egyptian in decor, but with a lot of entertaining activities and devices scattered thoughout.  At the center of the building we frequented, was a tall column, roughly 100 meters up, that had a waterfall flowing down around it into a large bath/pool area.  I apologize now for any details that may be fuzzy as this was quite some time ago and prior to my love of taking photos.  Furthermore, when you explore with Merl, Edi and Oct, you’re bound to be *very* distracted.

Early on in our relationship, when Merl or Oct left or we were left alone, Edi and I took to flying to the top of this column, which was then open to the top of the building, and then using flight assist to fly well out of range of anyone passing by or exploring away from the crowds.

We soon came to call the height to which we flew our “Point of Harmony”.  Many an hour was spent there, watching the sun rise, set, rise again…

I could IM Edi if I was having a stressful RL moment and she would say, “Yas, meet me at Harmony” and we both knew where to go.  My only regret is that there was no poseball for us to embrace, but we came quite adept at “hovering” at the same height, as if we were.

Some of the richest discussions I have had in SL came at Harmony.  Edi is one of the lucky few in SL to have figured out exactly how, why and for what SL is to be used.  Edi has the ability to take any negativity, SL or RL, wrap her sense of humor around it, pour in a strong amount of compassion and understanding, and serve you with a delicious dish of love so sweet, you can hardly stand it.

Even at the time in my SL experience when I was Idoru’s Huntress (I promise, a lot more on this timeframe in later posts) I still spent a lot of time with Edi.  I cannot thank Idoru enough for allowing me this freedom following my submission to her.

Sadly, Edi’s RL soon grew to a point where it intervened and cut into our time together.  After some heart breaking discussions, we both decided to dissolve the union, but remain very close friends.  About once a month, I’ll get an IM or a brief visit from Edi, and am instantly cheered up, regardless of my mood at the time of her IM.

The sim where we played, loved, laughed and grew is long gone, but the sense of Harmony remains.  There is of course a lot more to Edi than is detailed in this blog entry, but I’ll keep that to myself.  Some memories are best kept and not shared.

I love you my Queen.  Always.

But you are one nutty chick.  : )

Don’t worry, if you crash I’ll wait here for you…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 29, 2009 by Yasmin Heartsdale

In all of SL, never could a kinder sentence be spoken, particularly to a noob.  We’ve all been there, those first precious moments of our initial entry into SL.  Who will we meet, where will we go, what will stand out out as the single most important reason to return?

My initial entry started with a patient walk thru of SL’s “Help Island” tutorials.  Patient only because I had not yet learned how to engage “auto run”.  Sadly, they throw the “How to Fly” tutorial at you before the “How to Build and Script” lessons.  I flew, and never went back.  Three hours into SL, and I was standing in a sandbox watching people practice weapons against one another, unsure exactly which direction I had flown in from and not all that sure how to get back.

That’s when I met Merl.  Metamorph Merlin to be exact.  To say Merl is my best friend in all of SL is to say Lacey was just another partner for Cagney.  Merl is far more than a best friend.  She’s a godsend.

Those first few months in SL, I was not fully up to speed on the proper technical equipment for SL, i.e., a very poor video card/driver hampered me from being able to stay online more than 30 minutes at a time.  Additionally, the mere act of teleporting almost always caused me to crash.  So, it was tp, crash, explore, crash, tp, crash, explore, crash…..  You get the idea.

Through it all, Merl’s patience never wavered.  “Don’t worry Yas, if you crash I’ll wait here for you.”  Merl typed that so much I swear she had it as a macro.

As some history, there were some underlying RL events that had drawn me to SL to begin with, so meeting Merl not only taught me that patience was mundo important in SL, but it made me begin to take some hard looks at certain events in my RL.  Events that were slowly but surely draining my patience.

As a result, I soon made some drastic changes to my RL, changes that have shown to have been for the better, and have made “Patience” one of my core beliefs in SL.

And yeah, I also updated my system to make my SL experience more enjoyable.  Now if I crash, its those %$&#ing Lindens.  *grin*

I’ve now been in SL for seventeen months.  I’m happy to say that the one constant I have had to rely on, is Merl as my best friend.  We sometimes go, due to our own lives within SL, weeks at a time without a word, but Merl is one of those people that you can IM and start a conversation with, “so we had spaghetti for lunch…..” and there’s no need to go through the pleasantries of greetings.  There’s just picking up where you left off.  Merl kept me upbeat.  Merl kept me coming back.  Merl is why I am here, and now have the Family and friends I have.

I don’t say it enough Merl, but if you ever stumble…ever fall…don’t worry, I’ll be right here for you….”

I love you.  Yas.

Sidebar Your Honor?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 29, 2009 by Yasmin Heartsdale

Just a quick thought in passing before I delve into the next installment of this new adventure.

I was recently on Stonehaven’s patio* and there was an individual there that I have had some, for lack of a better term, general misunderstandings with in the past.  Now, to provide some brief history, this individual lives an existence in which they seem only to set themselves up for scorn and ridicule, then honestly seem upset or even angry when it comes.  Regulars of the patio know of which never nude individual I speak.  To avoid further conflict, I shall now only refer to this individual as “She Who Hath No Name”.

Anywho, to continue with this point, this individual made a comment in open chat to another person, in response to some general query about my “likes”, that I was “boring”.  I kind of made an off the cuff retort, but let the matter lie. 

However, while helping one of my children with their homework tonight, I came across a George Washington quote that I feel applies very well to She Who Hath No Name.

“Do not conceive that fine clothes make fine men, any more than fine feathers make fine birds.”

*More on Stonehaven in posts to follow as the sims of Stonehaven, Stonehaven Island and Psi’s Realm are very important to myself as well as the members of my Family.

Disclaimers

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 28, 2009 by Yasmin Heartsdale

First and foremost, I’ll attempt to catch this blog up to date from my beginning in Second Life, here after referred to as SL.  I’ll discuss my fetish and weakness for Nekos, particularly my best friend Merl and my first partner, Edi, my beginnings into bdsm as Idoru’s Huntress, the schism that led to my forming of the Brat Pack, my all too brief union with Shibari and the journey that brought me to the love of my life, Teyonas.

I’ll apologize for nothing except the occassional typo.  My SL experience is as I have lived it.  As in RL, there are no resets.  For those that feel I have stepped on their toes, consider that I feel you should not have had your feet in the aisle.

I would like to give thanks to my Family, mainly those girls making up my Brats.  Teyonas, Yar, Diomita, Fae, Jill and Claire.  In addition to these lovely ladies, I also have the love and support of many GrandBrats, some of whom I have developed a closer relationship with than others.  I will discuss this in further detail as time allows.  Last but not least, there is my cadre of slaves.  They provide a good source of inspiration, relief and amusement to myself and my girls.  As I write this first post, I have the luxury of sitting in my chair at Warden’s Hall while the heel of my boot toys with….  Well, I’ll let you imagine the rest.

I will go on the record as stating that Claire is my latest Brat.  Claire is also my last Brat.  As of this day, I have decided that while I will amuse myself with slaves from time to time and take on new ones as others leave SL or move on in their journey through SL, I will not be taking on any new Brats.  It has taken me quite some time to weed out those most qualified to serve as Brats.  It is my humble opinion that these six are it.  Later posts will clarify why I feel this way about each and every one of them.

I do want to say a word to anyone reading these posts that may know me in SL.  I have made a lot of friends in SL.  I consider myself extremely blessed.  And, as is my nature, I love them all dearly.  There is not enough time in the day to cover each and every one of you in this medium.  Please take no offense if you feel you have been slighted by my lack of inclusion.  Or, better yet, be patient, you may find yourself in these ramblings yet.

In closing, I must say a thank you to a rather unusual source of inspiration for the creation of this blog, Ilandere.  My insatiable curiosity combined with a late night google search, it is nice to know I am still on her mind.